I am back. Mentally, physically and emotionally I feel like I have sprung back to life and am ready to take on the world and hit the keyboard for the blog once more. Okay, I’m not ready to take on the world but you get the idea.
How many times have I said that though? How many times do we all wake up on a morning and declare it will be our day, week, month or year? But right now I’m ready and with my life shifting it seems right to focus on channelling myself back into the things that I love and enjoy.
Screw the schedules. Forget the expectation of content. Don’t expect a cohesive theme or logic from one post to the next. But when there is something I will be pouring my heart, soul and joy into it to make it a piece that I am proud to have my name attached to. I miss having my name attached to words, I left journalism around five years ago, and whilst this is likely to never feel the same it is a close enough second.
Turning 25 at the start of the week has me pumped.
My thyroid cancer treatment is basically all complete as I had the radioactive iodine last week, the physicists seemed positive with the scan results and now it is just going to be checkups for the next five years. Since I swallowed that capsule I have slept so incredibly well, a feeling I had forgotten, as the hidden internal stresses just melted away.
I got the all clear to hit the gym again so I have reactivated my membership and have a plan on how to really put a consistent effort in this time around to make it a 12 months of getting to look like the image I envisage for myself in my head. Okay, the idea in my head involves more than just hitting the gym and changing my physical appearance but also my mentality and general life but we all have to start somewhere.
There are some incredible people around me. There are two friends in my life that I am so thankful for meeting, love chatting to daily and seeing whenever I can. Without them I would never have started going to the pub on a night out, venturing to London more and actually talking about things that make me smile, laugh and cry. It blows my mind that this time last year I did not know them at all and I cannot wait for the year to come with both them and hopefully meeting a few more amazing people along the way.
But above everything I know who I am and what my interests are. I know where I want to go, who I want to be and the sort of people and environments I want to surround myself with. In the last couple of months, hell even in the last few weeks, so much has clicked into place for me and it is so exciting to suddenly feel like a strong independent unique person.
And who am I? What are my interests? Well I’ve picked my camera back up, am typing words into this blog, have started to do more arty type things again, want to get out and about in nature more, spend time enjoying tea (the drink rather than the evening meal) more inside and outside the house, go to watch live music and also to read in parks. I created a playlist that actually makes me happy to listen to without skipping songs or feeling some sort of shame, I am back to going out the door by myself and just living life. This is the year for developing me, being happy for me and exploring the world for me. I know who I am but I want to really grab that with both hands and run with it from now on.
I am ready to bloom. I just hope there are some people along the way to nurture and protect me.