There are things that we all dread. Hopping in the shower and somebody coming to the door leaving you scurrying around for your towel and getting there in a timely manner. Cooking food to impress somebody and it turning out the main ingredient is something they do not or cannot eat. Recently several badly timed things have happened to me and I have felt both awkward and mildly ashamed but also greatly amused.
The Colour Correcting Incident
Yes. You read that right. I have an awkward story about the world of colour correcting. Here is the back story: we live in a flat and have a porch before our entrance. In that porch there is a door that goes under the stairs (the leads up to the entrance for the other flats) and within it contains all the gas and electric meters. So unless somebody is topping up or checking their meters people cannot access our flat door. But one of the flats upstairs decided to have their meters changed to ones where they can top-up online rather than by key or card.
The guy installing them was super friendly and informed me when the electric would be going off and then was turned back on again. After this I thought he would not need to talk to me again and I went about doing my make-up thinking I could spend as long as I wanted and the only thing that might annoy me would be a bit of drilling from the other side of the door down the hall.
There I am applying my lilac, pink and green colour correction and looking at it in the mirror before I start to blend it in when there is a knock on the internal outside door. I grab my blending sponge and head down the hallway dabbing my face away and have to open the door to him with a multi-coloured face, trying to blend it in and have a chat at the same time. In short he was just telling me if I could smell gas not to worry. All the time afterwards I could not smell gas but was cringing at having to face him with all these different colours on my face.
Going to the door with blobs of foundation on your face is bad enough but at least most people understand what foundation is and that you are in the process of applying it. He looked completely bewildered and was clearly having to hold back laughing. It was honestly so embarrassing and from now on I will not do colour correcting unless the post has been and I am not at any risk of the door being knocked on.
An Unwanted Awaking
So I rarely sleep well. I need medication to get anything like an average nights sleep. And at the time this incident happened I was changing medication over so sleeping was practically impossible. An owl would have been proud of me as I ended up awake until the sun was rising on far too many occasions.
I had been awake until about 05:30 and was pleased to finally drift off to sleep. My partner had got up and gone to work but I was able to fall back to sleep. The curtains were drawn and doing a great job at keeping the sunshine out. When suddenly I was jolted awake. I was sure I had heard the door knock. So off I went in my penguin covered PJs, the most bushy hair I have had to deal with for ages and squinty eyes to see if the door had indeed been knocked on. It had.
There stood a chipped Thames Water man wanting to know if either of the cars parked on the drive belonged to us. I got the words no to stumble out my mouth. He said “Did I wake you up? I’m ever so sorry”. I pretended it did not matter and that my alarm was due to go off in a few minutes anyway and tried to make out that perhaps I was working nights or something.
The time was 11:50 and I felt so awkward. Standing there in my PJs, in a dazed state and having to answer questions about cars that were nothing to do with me. I think he needed to access the water meter that one of them practically hits every time they park up but I did not hang around to find out. I just shut the door, left and went to sit back in bed all groggy and confused.
The Leaflet Dropper
The elections are approaching. The fight in Croydon, a fairly swing seat, is well and truly on to get people elected to the GLA and the position as London Mayor. Everyday a new piece of spam comes through the door with false promises, questionable claims and the picture of somebody pulling a creepy and clearly forced grin.
One day I hear something fall through the letterbox. It is around the time the post usually arrives. I am fairly excited as I am expecting a postal vote, which is not exciting, but I wanted to see if it had arrived so I could get it filled in and returned plenty ahead of time. knowing you are expecting post, that is not some snotty letter or bill, is always a joy so I zoomed off down the hallway to collect whatever it was.
But it was not the post. The postman was over the road and yet to get to us. Instead it was a leaflet for a political party that I completely hate. I had woken up on the wrong side of bed and without thinking ran outside and after them, tearing the leaflet into shreds and shouting for them to f**k off before turning round and returning home. The postman now, without doubt, probably thinks I am very strange.
It was not until I got back in, went into the lounge and had a slurp of water that I looked at myself and realised I had just approached somebody, with torn up pieces of their leaflet, shouting angrily with nothing on my feet in a PURPLE TEDDY BEAR ONESIE. I was yet to get dressed and it was a particularly cold day so I had just been sitting around, trying to not fall back to sleep in my favourite onesie (it has little teddy bear ears on the hood).
Even I struggled to take myself seriously for the rest of the day. I mean what was I thinking doing that whilst still in my onesie? On a positive note though the anger that I had inside of me went away and I was bouncing around happily for several hours.
Do you have a recent awkward story to share? You can expect more posts like this as more things happen in my life (which they no doubt will because awkwardness seems to find me however hard I try).