My partner is putting on his tie and gathering his lunch from the fridge to set off to work. He wakes me up to say goodbye and remind me of anything important, such as ringing up a company or if he will be out late, before scurrying off out the door.
If I am really lucky at this point our conversation would have been short and I will still be tired enough to get back to sleep. Sadly my luck is rarely in and I will just lay there daydreaming of sleep for far too long.
I finally concede defeat and accept that I am not going to get back to sleep. I have a variety of tablets and dash off to brush my teeth. Most of the time I opt to make breakfast as my next move because I know if breakfast is not consumed now it will be lunchtime before I know it. From granola with yoghurt, fruit or toast my first meal of the day can be fairly varied, albeit inconsistent, and get my creative juices going. Today I opted for a peanut butter and strawberry jam toasted sandwich with some fruit tea (that I took out the box ages ago and have no idea what flavour it is supposed to be) and water. As we do not have a dining table, like we used to in our old flat, I often retreat back to the bedroom as sitting in the lounge, with the curtains open in my PJs is not something I am keen on. This gives me chance to pop some Youtube on and catch up on my never-ending watch later list.
My face feels gross. There is sleep all around my eyes. I can still feel a slight line on my face from sleeping on a crumbled piece of pillow fabric all night. It is time to call in my favourite facial cleanser and sniffle to myself as I battle to get any more to come out as it nears its end. The matching brand moisturisers come out and I apply them to the appropriate bits of the face. My facial skincare routine is a bit slap and dash but it usually works well enough for me.
Today I included some Benefit It’s Potent! Eye Cream to the routine in an attempt to clear out some of my samples. My feet and elbows also tend to get a soaking in cream and I apply some lip balm to help rehydrate them from a night of no water and a warm room.
It feels like my creams will never dry if I just sit there and wait so instead I go off and select the clothes I want to wear for the day ahead. Today I also popped some laundry into the machine because no matter how often I do it the pile never seems to decrease. Living in a flat I always fear that putting the washing on will upset the upstairs neighbours but I normally hear them moving around earlier than this so I figure they will have to make do with the whirring for an hour and half.
I need to get dressed. Not because there is some huge rush to do a massively exciting thing but rather because the post can turn up rather early and knowing my luck if I do not get dressed right now they will turn up and knock on the door. As it is washing day my good jeans are in the wash so I am wearing some that have a number of holes in awkward places so I need to be careful when in the lounge or moving around in areas that the outside world can see.
There are the European Swimming Championships on this week, like the diving was on last week, so I get the stream provided by the LEN up on the TV and have the heats on in the background whilst searching and applying for jobs. I usually spend about an hour to an hour and half doing this each weekday but it can vary if a job has a mammoth application form. If the swimming was not happening I would usually put some music on just to drown out the silence.
By now my attention span is starting to drop off and I am usually getting fairly downbeat and disheartened by everything that I have come across in the job world. To cheer myself up I tend to do something blog related, from planning, photographing or writing, just so I feel that I have not wasted the entire morning. During this time I will also catch up with blogs and people I follow, comment on a few and check out some products that may have been mentioned. The door has not been knocked on so I go off to see if there is any post and unsurprisingly, but still massively to my disappointment, there is nothing sticking through the letterbox or sitting on the floor.
It is technically lunch time but all I have done is sit around and stare at a screen. I feel hungry, because my brain is processed to tell me that it is time to eat, but I feel guilty eating when I have not done anything to burn some energy or earn money for food. In the end I choose to do my make-up even though I have nowhere to go or anybody to particularly see me. I get setting spray in my mouth, which makes a change to my eyes, and then worry about not buying a waterproof mascara with it being hay-fever season and the risk of leaky eyes ruining everything. Doing my make-up so glam makes me wish that I was able to create content that is a good quality for Youtube so I could at least get the look out there a little bit.
I concede defeat. It is lunchtime. Unless I happen to be thinking when placing a food order or sending my partner off to Lidl to do some shopping there is nothing that particularly excites me for lunch. I usually end up opting for some beans, spaghetti hoops or soup but will occasionally branch out to something more exciting like cheese on crumpets or an omelette (depending on what was had for breakfast to if it is too samey).
It is still several hours until my partner gets home and by this point I am pretty bored. I opt to do a little more stuff towards my blog, scan through instagram until I go back as far as is possible and remember there is some washing in the machine that needs hanging up. At the minute I have Scrabble on my phone and keep having a few games with family and friends and although it is not the same as a real life game of Scrabble it does manage to make me feel less alone.
The time is later than I expected. As it almost always is. I scurry around checking to see if any housework needs doing such as collecting loose plates and cups, seeing if any laundry is dry or doing any food prep/starting to cook. During all this I have music or the radio going and keep one eye on my phone in case my mum happens to contact me for a chat or my partner messages me when he leaves work. Everything in the flat feels ordered and under control. I write a list of anything to remember to discuss with my partner when he gets in.
Providing all goes well in the transport department my partner is about to get in from work. I normally get him a drink ready and either serve food up or, if it will be a while until food or we are not hungry, turn the Playstation or his laptop on. We chat about the antics that have occurred during his day and I scan over my day and mention any jobs that looked particularly interesting.
After food we generally spend the evening relaxing. Sometimes my partner will go out to a meeting and I will use that time to watch some rubbish TV or a bit more Youtube. If he stays in we will watch anything on TV that happens to suit both of us and play Fifa, cards (which is generally quite difficult for two people) or something else together although we both make sure we have some time to ourselves as well. if there is something my partner wants to watch on TV that I think is rubbish then I will go off to a different room to watch my own things or have a long soak in the bath.
I take my make-up off with my trusty cleanser and repeat the moisturising steps that I do in the morning whilst also giving my legs and hands some moisture too. If I have not done the right colour washing for a while this is usually the time I will claim some gremlin is stealing all my PJs and get into a huff about having mismatched items.
Our evenings are pretty simple and we are in bed around 22:30 because of how early my partner gets up in a morning for work and how he likes his beauty sleep. Because of the tablets I am currently on and them helping me to sleep I just pop one of those and I am zonked out for the night.
The life of an unemployed person may sound like your life of leisure but it is actually incredibly dull and lonely. You spend all day counting down the hours until you have some company or hear an actual voice of somebody you know. You spend all your time doing valid housework that the other person does not have time to do but find it goes unappreciated or that people looking from the outside do not even acknowledge happens. You see people on social media complaining about their co-workers and whilst you agree they sound like an absolute nightmare you cannot help but get incredibly jealous super quickly. Every time you use something or eat it you feel guilty for using things up that you cannot afford to replace or contribute to paying for. The most beautiful picture can be painted and placed in front of you but unless you ask the artist you cannot understand the story and emotions behind it.