As a child we are always asked what we want to be when we grow up. As we get older we get asked more questions about that such as where to go to college or university. The older we get the more questions arise regards marriage and children.
We are constantly made to consider our next step and our next dream but as a result we never have time to appreciate the moment that we are living in. We do well in an exam but we do not cheer that because that exam was simply to allow us to focus on the next thing. We get a job but if it is not the dream it is just a stepping stone to having a moment to be proud of ourselves.
The constant expectation to keep on moving forward, acheiving the next big thing or to just not stay still is increasingly present for people around me. My partner has to be reminded that people he looks up to did not do some of their most remembered things until they were nearly 30 and having not done something that will be remembered in your early 20s is not a disaster.
I myself am so incredibly guilty of ignoring the present by focussing too much on the future. Looking back now I realise my CV was having something added to it nearly every month and I was constantly going to new places or trying something different. People always said they were amazed at the things I was doing but to me they all felt unimportant and just a step towards realising my dreams. It was another opportunity but it was not the job I had wanted for years. It did not impress me in the slightest.
It is one of those things that in hindsight I should have appreciated more and perhaps if I had I would not have ended up bogged down at the lack of acheiving, the urge to cement my future or just feel that I was moving in the right direction.
We are set up from such a young age to focus on a stream of dreams, a land of possibilities and with an attitude to always focus on achievement. As a result our lives end up passing us by as we have generally set out expectations far too high but giving up on them results in us becoming a failure.
From now on all I dream of is to be safe and be happy. Landing a job that comes round once in a lifetime, having a house with a beauty room or having a wedding that everybody declares as the most beautiful thing ever will all just be bonus life points. I mean I dream about being thanked and appreciated for doing the housework a bit more or being able to make fun and varied meals or getting the bus without the guilt of spending £1.50 but those are actually attainable and small goals towards a lifetime of happiness.
Having to share dreams and constantly aim for them instead of enjoying life has done me more harm than good already and I am not going to let it happen again. Appreciate the moment and what you have, even if it is far from perfect.