My Feelings On Umbrellas

As the rain is pouring down on a more and more frequent basis in grey and gloomy London I got thinking about the umbrella and its pros and cons.

The list of positives basically ends after one point: it helps keep you dry.

I’m just not a big fan of carrying and using an umbrella or having other people around me use them. There are fewer things more annoying when it’s raining and you’re in a rush than having to duck up, down and round ten people and ten umbrellas and the amount of times I’ve been whacked or nearly had my eye skewered by somebody unable to stop the wind controlling the umbrella is too many times to count on my hands.

I think I’d hate them less, especially in busy places, if people shared umbrellas more. I don’t mean like back at school where ten people tried to fit under their friends small umbrella but a couple of people to an umbrella would massively help reduce the clashes and congestion.

But also to all those people in a rush to get from one meeting to another or keen to get to the earliest train you slow yourself down so much with an umbrella. You have to be more tactical in your weaving whilst battling the wind and in doing so all the other speedy shifters are slowed down as well. You appreciate peoples desire to get to their next location quickly but because your waving your umbrella around you’re slowly them with their hooded devices down instead.

As for the people who use a coat hood AND an umbrella when it’s barely even spitting outside.. why? You can’t hear people saying excuse me as they try to squeeze between two differently angled and heighted umbrellas.

Much like the calls for a fast lane and a slow lane on shopping streets I wish that everybody with an umbrella could be put into the slow lane and be left to battle it out with other umbrella using folk without the rest of us risking it all to cross the road.

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